Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
