don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
