so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
