get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
