He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
