wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
NoShamevember. You game?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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