I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
