I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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