ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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