She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
