i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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