Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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