While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
