Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
