btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
