where am i from again
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
