i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
