her vagine was all disorganized.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Still dying that you shit outside
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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