ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
