Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
