You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
