used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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