AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
