Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
