I hate all girls vehemently.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
