stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
