So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
