8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
