I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
