someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
