i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
