I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
