If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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