I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just found puke in my bra..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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