One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
