"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
