I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
