so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
