her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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