Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
