Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize