worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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