We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
