try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
