I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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