So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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