i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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