We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
