Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
