Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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